


Fuck if I know

by 12oclockAM



Category: None - Fandom
Genre: uhhhhhh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:55:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29168442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/12oclockAM/pseuds/12oclockAM
Summary: I wanted to write, I'm going to write.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 2





	1. whatever

**Author's Note:**

> What will I write about? I don't know, I haven't thought that far in yet.

Okay, so like, I'm writing now, and I'm planning on doing so for a vast amount of time, with most likely few breaks. There will also probably be too many typos and grammatical errors to count, but I really could not care less, for all I want to do is type. And type I fucking will!

Some could use this as some type of meet the author shit, I guess. I'm not gonna, like, vent my heart out or anything, nor will I get very personal. I'm just here to type, so I guess I'll most likely be ranting from topic to topic for way too long, which I see as a talent, honestly.

I think so far I'm doing pretty good at the whole ranting part. I think soon enough I'm going to give up on proper capitalization and punctuation, but it's not like this is some professional story that I'm writing over here, and people skip out on capitalization all of the time. I'm just now noticing how very long I'm making all of these sentences. I really do abuse the comma, lol. I just wrote lol. I'm so proud of myself.

Off topic, even if that's the entire fucking point of this thing, I feel as if I should be really proud of my writing. While it may be average, if not just plain bad compared to others, to some it could be seen as impressive due to my age. I'm not trying to sound full of it or anything, even if I am hot fucking shit, obviously, yeah, but no, I'm not trying to sound like an asshole here. I'm not going to say my age, but I just feel that my skill in the art of literature is a little above average for it. If not by a great expanse, looking back at the one time someone asked me if I could proof read their story.

That story was interesting, it was about this... medieval type of thing. It was an omegaverse story, which I'm not too knowledgeable about but I do know enough, and every full moon there would be this... like... ball thingy where the women of age would find their mate. The main character was a girl, and she was adopted by the alpha of the pack, and said alpha's actual daughter was a spoiled piece of shit. The main gal was all like 'No! No I do not want to find a mate, for I am an indepenetananace wimin" and decided to run away during the ball, where no one would pay attention to her.

I was only showed that much of the story, but it was pretty nice. I would give credit for it but the creator didn't give me a name to the story, and continued to block me right after I pointed out a mistake somewhere in the middle of the chapter they sent me. I don't think I was very rude about it, I just said "The story is great! Though the second sentence of the fifth paragraph is is worded a little wonky, and might confuse the readers." And I never got anything back.

If I _was_ rude there, then, like, my apologies? I wasn't trying to sound, like, better than that person or anything. They asked me to proof read it, I proof read it, and gave them the mistake I found. Honestly now I sound like a sassy asshole, so I'm going to quit this bit right here.

This kind of reminds me of that one chapter in Fuck your Cheve... that I wrote where Dave just rambles about God knows what for, like, almost 500 words. That is a shitty guesstimate, it might have been far more or less than 500, but I don't particularly care. Man, why can't all of the creativity I had when I wrote that come back right now. I mean, I'm doing pretty good, I think. It's just that this is way more boring, when that one was way funnier.

Speaking of my Homestuck fics, they will most likely be on pause for a very, _very_ long time. Unless I can just miraculously get back into the HS fandom, which I doubt will happen. I'm a little upset about it myself, seeing as I was really liking where they were going, and they actually really helped me with just... keeping some sort of routine up. The only fandom I'm in now is MCYT, but I'm too scared of judgement to write anything about those, as much as I want to. No, no I don't ship anyone. I just always think about all of the cool fight scenes, and stories I could make up with their characters. Because damn if the characters they've made for themselves aren't all badass, even Quackity. Sadly, though, I am a pussy and am too scared of people not liking me for writing stuff for them. Drawing them has helped a little, knowing that it's way more 'normal' for fanart to be there instead of fanfiction, which I call bull shit on but we live in a society.

(if you want to see said art btw my instagram is respeechickens, just saying)

I also just really like making designs for them, especially Technoblade, Ph1lza, and Ranboo. Cough, even if Phil's skin is just an anime character, cough. I also really like the design I've made for Foolish, the shark clothes is cute as shit. I've been meaning to do more sprite edits for DSMP cast, I've already done one for Ranboo, Techno, Tommy, and Fundy, but school is tiring and will not let me both read for an unhealthy amount of hours _and_ edit, so I have to pick my battles.

You would think I would have added 'and drawing' in the last sentence but I don't ever sketch or plan my drawings out before doing lineart, so it really just depends on how I color the drawing to see how long I will take. Also if I decide to do a back ground or not, but I usually half ass backgrounds anyways.

As you can see, I will not be making it very far in the whole 'artist' thing.

But, luckily, my main focus is literature, not art.

I have an original story on my profile called Hemokinesis:Control the Blood, a very anime-esque name, I know. I have written the next chapter for said story three times now and I haven't been able to post it due to all of my progress being deleted every fucking time, so I guess now I'm just taking a break.

Now that I think about it, how the fuck is Claire's still in business? Legit, no one likes it there. It must have the worst ratings on Yelp, y'all. I am so funny.

I think I'll add another chapter to this purely because I want to watch videos while eating an unhealthy amount of tic tacs now, adios.


	2. Chapter 2

I thank that one person in the comments of the last chapter greatly.

Honestly, I was actually about to update that MCYT fic only a few minutes ago, but whenever I tried to turn the format to Rich Text ao3 would blank out and not let me type. So here we are.

I don't think I'm that upset about it, I wasn't really that motivated to write anyways, and I didn't want it to turn out shitty. Anyways, back to what this post is about; literally anything I want to talk about. Really, people should do this more often, it's really refreshing.

I've gotten into ENA by Joel G as of late. From the characters to the music, I just love everything about the animations. It's of one of my favorite aesthetics too (webcore), though I don't usually focus my interests on things such as aesthetics. I'll dabble in them sometimes though, like cottagecore, or webcore. Vastly different, I know, but my interests rarely share much in common. If I did have to pick a favorite type of aesthetic it'd be cottagecore, definitely. Though with my writing style, that shouldn't have been to hard to find out. I don't mean by what I write in general, I don't think i've written a single thing on here that fits the corragecore vibe, but I just mean _how_ I write. I like to avoid using exclamation marks, unless I'm showing exasperation. I like to think I usually have a calming type of mood in my writing... when it isn't depressing as shit.

Again, I _like_ to think that. I could be so off, I could never really read the room, if you know what I'm saying.

Off the topic of aesthetics, which I really like to spell oh my wow, I have once again returned to my shell of being a recluse.

Sometimes, like most people, I'm sure, I like to just not talk to anyone that I know personally, or anyone in general, and just sit in my room and do my thing with no human contact for multiple weeks straight. I think the longest this has lasted is about four months. I wouldn't call it unhealthy, if anything it's a huge stress reliever. I never really was a people person. I know that even some of the most socially awkward people can get lonely some times, but I think the only time I actively go out to talk to someone was either because I had something really funny to say or show them, or I had some news that they might be interested in.

Not trying to say I'm special or anything though, or like, quirky. I'm sure there are multiple people out there who have done this for most of their lives. I'm just saying, I personally prefer being alone than with people.

The more I write in this thing the more I realize that this really is just a 'Meet the Author' type of thing. Except way too detailed, and way more personal. I'm trying to avoid being personal on here though, I think that whole recluse bit was the most personal I've been. I might have said something deeper though last chapter, I don't know. Honestly, I forgot literally everything I said in that one, but I'm not exactly too keen on the thought of going back and re-reading something of mine that isn't fiction. The entire time I'd probably just be cringing at myself.

But honestly? If I'm caught being cringe then it isn't entirely my fault. I made this whole thing to be myself and just... write in. Y'all can't imagine my surprise when I saw kudos, let alone someone commenting on the last chapter.

Another reason I like writing in here is because I don't feel as if people are awaiting an update for it. Like, who would just read this and go ''Oh boy!11! I sure am just elated at the thought of an update to such a wonderful creation that reflects ones thoughts and feelings, in which they are projecting out of pure boredom!!1! ROFL ROFL LMAO LMAO LOL XD LOL!!1''

Listen, I really, really despise words such as 'Lmao' when they are used unironically.

Especially when someone says 'lol' at then end of all of their sentences. I can understand saying it sometimes because you feel as if your sentence was too serious, or you needed to add more to it, but just saying it non stop makes me enraged for some reason.

No offense to anyone who does that.

Maybe?

Kind of full offense.

Why would you need so many lol's.

ANYWAYS LET'S TALK ABOUT MODERN STEREOTYPES AND MY PERSONAL OPINION ON THEM!

I fucking HATE the fact that telling someone you're depressed will instantly make everyone think you're an emo piece of shit that just wants attention. And the sad part is, even I have to think that some times without solid proof that that person has some type of mental illness! I'll be honest, I'm shifting most of my blame to the people who still use Gacha, no way am I trusting one of them. But sometimes it'll be seemingly random people too.

I won't say their name, but last week this person that I have only talked to ONCE, like, FOUR MONTHS AGO, messaged me. They were talking about how they're so lonely now and how all of their friends hate them, and that they just make everyone around them upset. And, you know, at first I tried sympathizing with them! I gave them as much advice as I could, even if it was shit seeing as I'm way too blunt with these types of things, and I tried to cheer them up, I really did. But as soon as the topic started to shift a little they instantly said 'But yeah I don't know what I'm doing wrong...'

Of course, this didn't INSTANTLY change my opinion on them. I was just like 'well, we could have just held a more up beat topic to cheer you up, but I'll humor you. Maybe you just need to vent more.' So we talked a little longer, and then they kept asking me what they were doing wrong. Keep in mind, I barely know this person, or anything about their situation, they've just come to me out of all people for some reason.

So I just say I don't know. Admittedly, that could've been worded a little nicer, but hey, I did not fucking sign up for some stranger that I have talked to once before and would NOT let me go offline to come vent to me. They didn't even seem fazed though, they just kept talking about how all of their friends hate them.

At this point it was getting pretty repetitive, so I asked 'Why do they hate you, if you don't mind sharing?' because, you know, I have manners. And they said 'Me and one person had different political views and everyone blocked me.' And, well, that just sounds like bullshit.

Hold up, lemme be detective Cooper real quick-

So, this guy is telling me, that them and some other person had different opinions, and then directly after, that person and literally EVERYONE ELSE this guy has ANY relations to blocks them on all social media plat forms.

I'm sorry if that was, somehow, the truth dude, but... I am just not believing that.

Of course, I wasn't going to just ghost them, because that would've been just such an asshole move. So I told them that that was fucking stupid, acting as if the reason wasn't stupid, but their friends were, and they continued to ask me the same questions, such as 'what did I do wrong', which is pretty popular with this person. (off topic but the song Pink Cloud Shrine from the Earthbound OST fucking slaps-) Anyways, yeah so eventually I guess I got too boring for them and they just ghosted me instead, and I don't think i've ever been more relieved to be ignored.

This is kind of like a really open diary now that I think of it.

Holy shit, wait, is this just a blog.

Did I make a blog on ao3???

Oh my God I am so cool, holy shit.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jhujimk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ndhcueadndkrfjnfrhriughdvdjksvbjkdzn dkjvbiuebviuwbvkjb kjxkb riauhWBVUDHVBBVPEBVEPDBUPDIBVODSBVIEOVFDBNTHMHJEDVJwldbbjdvfvfs;nvjdvnjslv

I restarted my lap top twice because I wanted to write something and then I realized I didn't want to do anything but I _do_ want to type stuff so here we are again.

I realized earlier that this _thingy_ is kind of like the most boring youtube channel ever. Like, it's like a podcast but instead of the streamer just talking about shit it's just a black screen with bold font text on it saying whatever the hell I type with no music in the background. As much as people may joke about wanting to watch something like that they _definitely_ wouldn't.

Anyways, about me. about me. uh.

See, the thing is I really just wanted to type but I can't think of much rn so uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I started drawing a lot more than usual. I've just had this huge _boost_ of ideas for shit to draw. Such as 1568 bee keepers, foolishG, Michael the zombified piglin. I even found a better way to start coloring, which is honestly all I could ever ask for.

Why did they changed the name Zombie Pigmen to Zombified Piglins? Like, I get changing it to it to Zombie _Piglins_ but like... why Zombified?? That's such a mouthful. Speaking of Minecraft, I played Xbox One Edition for the first time in like... five years. And _GOD_ how does _ANYONE_ play that version?? How did _I_ play that version?? Before the update where they changed the textures of grass, netherrack, stone and shit, it was s _eizure inducing_. Also you can't turn down the size of the 'chat' (which was really just in game messages, you couldn't actually talk in them), so the chat was a light gray that went across the entirety of the screen. It was awful but also so, incredibly nostalgic.

I also played spleef while on there. And won. God, spleef is so much more stressful than you would think. I won and by the end of it my bpm was nineteen.

I did not care though. For I was the victor, and everyone was bafoons that now must bow before me and my raw talent.

Now I want to play spleef again.

But alas, I will not. This is purely because I do not feel like turning on my Xbox and booting up Minecraft, which will take approximately seventeen years and eight months. Aside from spleef, I tried a pvp one before spleef. This was also before I switched the controls around to what I'm used to and turned the sensitivity up. All of this put together means I died in, like, fifteen seconds.

I tried to gain enough courage to build a house or something on that version but I just couldn't do it. Also! I completely forgot, but apparently one Xbox One Edition when you're flying you fly in the direction you're looking, not where your joystick is moving. So I was looking up while flying and I shot directly up into the air and I _hated it._ How did I or anyone else ever play that game??? question mark question mark.

I really wish I had java edition, everything seems so much more fun on java colon d.

Anyways, while this one was more short than the others I really just didn't have much to say and I really only wanted to type something, which I am typing really badly today, oh my God.

So uh, yeah, go away. bye. 


End file.
